I said to my two-year-old son, "Now, what noise does a cat make?"
"Miaow!"
"Good, but do you know what noise a dog makes?"
"Woof woof!"
"That's right! Now tell me what noise a cow makes?"
"David, if you even think about going out to that fucking pub with your friends then you can forget about ever being let back in this house!"
That's my boy.
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